Awesomeness

Then there are these moments when your lover is there and spends that time and makes you feel on top of the world....

What lovely moments!!!! 

Sometimes...

I wonder why is it always me hoping and wanting something...

Or am I totally in a world where these feelings just don't lend to being there for long!

I see everywhere... people wanting multiple things and varied flavors. Not saying that it is not part and parcel of life.

But why am I different... Sometimes it sucks to be this way!

Being at the other end and always wanting for more... 

What's in Life!

Sometimes I wonder what is there in it all. Some people say they like the fame that they get and some say they like to hold a name for themselves. Does that mean thats what makes them happy?

In life everyone does something or the other to achieve new heights... both professionally and personally. And the only thing that can make you happy is by constant growth.

Today's world tells us never to stop... always keep looking for the next thing... what else to do... whats next.

Does it teach everyone to never be content in life? What is the underlying message that the world around us keeps telling us all the time?

Why do I feel that there isn't much I want to do... what am I gonna do with all the fame and power and all of that! I don't want to destroy the world or reform anything... I just want Happiness and Togetherness... Thats all... I'm just a very simple person!!!!!

Crushed

Why do I feel so crushed at times...

Everything in life cannot be about me. There are other sides of the story and other factors... but I want too much attention and too much focus... Guess I like that a lot and do expect that as well... and want and crave for it.

Sometimes the smallest things can hurt much more than one can imagine.

And why does this little thing just feels like it just pierced through my heart... its nothing actually. I asked a question and got a straight forward answer. There is nothing to it actually. But then why does it hurt me and pinch me like its all about me.

May be cos its the loneliness that I feel and I get so upset cos of that. I know I cannot share that to the extend that I feel cos that would be imposing too much on the other person. But I do feel it sometimes.

I try to get out of it and try to ignore it and make it my part n parcel of life.... but then sometimes certain things just pierce my heart without me even knowing that it hits me so much.

It is not always about sex... its about togetherness, the company, just a cuddle. Its basically the TIME spent!

Me and the silliness... I'm just a kid when it comes to love! So naive and want to be just like that!

I have tried all I can but for things beyond me how do I or what do I do!!!!

Somebody please HELP.... sob sob! 

Time!

Why does it hurt so bad...

I don't want to be insensitive... but I think I can be.
I want it to be enjoyable. Never anything else.
But I want soo much....

My want is clouding my senses. I have way toooo much time to kill and I am not focusing on anything else.
Now it makes me cry and these tears just won't stop.

I want to pull back but don't want to.
I want to give space but want to be close.
I want to find something that will keep me occupied but I actually don't want to.
I am torn between what I want and what I want!
I want soooo much more!!!! I try to keep my want at check but sometimes I guess it becomes so overwhelming!

All I want is to make you happy and spend more time with you!
Now thats the keyword. Time.... do we have what we want.....

Nymph

What is a nymph... Funny I read this from the urban dictionary "a woman who has the sexual drive of a man"

Why should it be in comparison with a man... is my question. Men can never have the sexual drive that a women has... may be I am a nymph and that is a fact! 

But then when everybody talks about men like they have much more sexual drive and women have less... well they are so fucking wrong... absolutely fucking wrong. 

I have till date never met someone who can match my sexual drive. They always make me want for more and more!!!! 

Oh no, I am not complaining... I only laugh when they say men have more drive cos... sorry to say they can be so limited in their drive compared to what I feel. 

Confidence

Do I have the confidence that my lover will be true to me in a situation if he is left with other hot girls who he flirts with.

The sad fact of the matter is that I dread that thought in my head.

I don't want to be negative about it but unfortunately I am not able to be positive about it as well.

I want him for myself. I want him to be true to me. But I do not think or have the confidence that he would be. For all you know he might be. And I want to believe that from the bottom of my heart. But if I believe in him and he comes and tells me that he wasn't I want to be able to digest it and not react either. The only way I can live through that is if I kill this little emotion in me.

This makes me so sad. Cos, at this point I have so many things that I aspire and want and this may keep me away from him. When I come back, how much of him will actually be mine and only mine. I don't know.

May be I am thinking too much. But that's cos I love him so very much! Can't help but to think. Can't help to also think about what I might lose if I'm not close to him.

We have a great chemistry but this world is made of everyone with the thought of "Dil Mange More"

And absence is the time when you start exploring others. Not to mention if it happens when I'm there... who knows what will happen otherwise.

The other thought is also if he will tell me if anything happens. Well only time will tell. I cannot ever show how I truly feel because the premise of our relationship is different. I am the other person and don't think I have a say in things. I'm a fantasy and never will be the reality!!!