Friday, May 11, 2012

Confidence

Do I have the confidence that my lover will be true to me in a situation if he is left with other hot girls who he flirts with.

The sad fact of the matter is that I dread that thought in my head.

I don't want to be negative about it but unfortunately I am not able to be positive about it as well.

I want him for myself. I want him to be true to me. But I do not think or have the confidence that he would be. For all you know he might be. And I want to believe that from the bottom of my heart. But if I believe in him and he comes and tells me that he wasn't I want to be able to digest it and not react either. The only way I can live through that is if I kill this little emotion in me.

This makes me so sad. Cos, at this point I have so many things that I aspire and want and this may keep me away from him. When I come back, how much of him will actually be mine and only mine. I don't know.

May be I am thinking too much. But that's cos I love him so very much! Can't help but to think. Can't help to also think about what I might lose if I'm not close to him.

We have a great chemistry but this world is made of everyone with the thought of "Dil Mange More"

And absence is the time when you start exploring others. Not to mention if it happens when I'm there... who knows what will happen otherwise.

The other thought is also if he will tell me if anything happens. Well only time will tell. I cannot ever show how I truly feel because the premise of our relationship is different. I am the other person and don't think I have a say in things. I'm a fantasy and never will be the reality!!!