Our Wants and Needs

Everybody has moments... the expectations... the want... the need to feel it...

Its not easy when something comes and rocks it out of the expectations.

IT IS NOT EASY.... Just as its not easy for you.

Everything in life goes both ways. Nothing goes one way and stays that way.

You can give all you got... those moments do matter!

And if someone has to act like certain things don't matter... its not possible.

The least bit is to share why... cos if that is also not there then there is no way of knowing what it is

And the person feels like they are not worth it and thats not a nice place to be in!

Every want and need comes from some inner tingle.

All it needs is an explanation and then it would be alright.

Without that... it becomes guess work and that is not how you would want your loved on to feel!

Friday Fever

Why does seeing you on a Friday matter so much.. I know I won't see the next two days and so it kinda like manifests I guess.

I feel like I want to see you and when that is not what you feel it hurts. May be you do but there are so many other things that you have to do...

I don't even feel like telling you this right now cos... If you don't feel it and only I feel it... well, it is not worth telling... its just that sad feeling that takes over.

Yeah... I know, you have a lot going on and you just don't have the time and blah blah blah but I'm not able to not feel this way. Its just that simple. I'm selfish about what I feel and I feel this. Makes me sad. Makes me wanna cry. Makes me not wanna say it. Makes me speechless.

Only a very sad feeling inside me prevails. The feeling of loneliness and sadness... that chokes my speech.

If you ever see this... you will know how I feel... if not... well like they say NeverMind... no love lost... life goes on...

And so is my life! Another one of those lonely sad days! 

Loneliness

Yes, I feel it.... so so much!

I am not even able to say it out cos then it reflects on what I am all about right?

I do want more. I am kinda alienating myself from the world around me. Not that I wanted to but I have lost interest in the one thing I was so interested in when I was young.

Not exactly lost interest... but have become not what I used to talk about! I used to talk about how sex is the key thing and how you can have it in any way possible which who ever... but what has changed now. I have all the opportunity now and completely not in that mode! why?

I sometimes want it and long for it... so very much... but then nothing more! I have become a different person now.

But I feel the loneliness inside me! What do I do with it. I don't know.

Should I venture? Should I look out? Should I find someone?

How do I deal with this thought in my head?

Things that Get me Sad

I get way too wet for my guy to go down on me...

A night when we get high on drinks at home happens after reminding that its been ages...

I have to ask for something different all the time...

Keep on a constant motivation... (And guys say they think of sex all the time... duhhh) (oh yeah... it is with different girls right... forgot!)

A drink can happen with friends, office parties or during travel but then when with me... oh I have to reduce... become so fat... arrggghhhh

Seems like I'm the one always wanting for more... why do I feel that way...

Flirts with all and then avoids telling me cos it will hurt me.... yeah right!!!!!

Now, I don't even know what to think anymore... cos certain words are stuck in my head...

"Don't Ask" - okay... does that mean a yes or a no or what am I to think... of course it doesn't matter as long as its not spoken....

Saying we have not spoken about sex with other partners.... Gosh... I can remember details of discussion... where did this come from now!

A phone call on my birthday is too much to ask for...

Why am I feeling this way all of a sudden... Why am I thinking of all these and listing them down?

There comes a time in a relationship when you don't want to do all the work... you want the other to reciprocate.

You don't want to feel that you are the one holding things together but both are equally interested...

Am I going out of the sanity talk right now? Or is it fair enough to ask these questions?

I knew this was not gonna be easy... what also hurts is things that are told and then well forgotten... of course what else do you expect from a man's memory!

The thing I hate the most... the though of will he tell me knowing that something would hurt me!!!! Hate this thought in my head cos this gets me down to the bottom of the pit!

How do I come out of it? I think the moments of togetherness are enough but then its not always true!

I want to know if I will know the truth or is it a lie just like the other life to make sure the boat is not rocking!

Am I making a big thing out of nothing or is there something that is bothering me so much to list down so many things!

Something isn't right! My gut does not let me down.

If I can trust something that is what I would trust....

Sad Truth of my Life!

Awesomeness

Then there are these moments when your lover is there and spends that time and makes you feel on top of the world....

What lovely moments!!!! 

Sometimes...

I wonder why is it always me hoping and wanting something...

Or am I totally in a world where these feelings just don't lend to being there for long!

I see everywhere... people wanting multiple things and varied flavors. Not saying that it is not part and parcel of life.

But why am I different... Sometimes it sucks to be this way!

Being at the other end and always wanting for more... 

What's in Life!

Sometimes I wonder what is there in it all. Some people say they like the fame that they get and some say they like to hold a name for themselves. Does that mean thats what makes them happy?

In life everyone does something or the other to achieve new heights... both professionally and personally. And the only thing that can make you happy is by constant growth.

Today's world tells us never to stop... always keep looking for the next thing... what else to do... whats next.

Does it teach everyone to never be content in life? What is the underlying message that the world around us keeps telling us all the time?

Why do I feel that there isn't much I want to do... what am I gonna do with all the fame and power and all of that! I don't want to destroy the world or reform anything... I just want Happiness and Togetherness... Thats all... I'm just a very simple person!!!!!

Crushed

Why do I feel so crushed at times...

Everything in life cannot be about me. There are other sides of the story and other factors... but I want too much attention and too much focus... Guess I like that a lot and do expect that as well... and want and crave for it.

Sometimes the smallest things can hurt much more than one can imagine.

And why does this little thing just feels like it just pierced through my heart... its nothing actually. I asked a question and got a straight forward answer. There is nothing to it actually. But then why does it hurt me and pinch me like its all about me.

May be cos its the loneliness that I feel and I get so upset cos of that. I know I cannot share that to the extend that I feel cos that would be imposing too much on the other person. But I do feel it sometimes.

I try to get out of it and try to ignore it and make it my part n parcel of life.... but then sometimes certain things just pierce my heart without me even knowing that it hits me so much.

It is not always about sex... its about togetherness, the company, just a cuddle. Its basically the TIME spent!

Me and the silliness... I'm just a kid when it comes to love! So naive and want to be just like that!

I have tried all I can but for things beyond me how do I or what do I do!!!!

Somebody please HELP.... sob sob!